it is on our failures that we base a new and different and better success.

i know that with failure comes success. but i just don't have the time!
pw is in total chaos.
we might have to redo EVERYTHING.
yes. everything. a whole new task.

i thought we'll do well by being different.
by choosing task 2 when 99% of students taking pw nationwide is doing task 1.
now i've learnt that being different doesn't mean standing out.
if you think in terms of a sore thumb, maybe.
but in terms of outstanding? that's just being stupid.

i've learnt my lesson. i really have.
following the crowd was the best way to get through pw.
if you get stucked, at least there's someone to ask.
doing something absolutely nobody else is doing is like courting death.

i have no idea how we are going to get through this.
especially with half the group totally uncooperative and not putting in the slightest bit of effort.
even if they submit work, you know it's done in a rush.
quality shows.

having 4 people doing the work meant for a group of 5 or 6 is hard enough.
having 2 out of the 4 expecting everything to be done for them and waiting to be mollycoddled just makes everything worse manifolds.

my life is in a mess now.
projects and assignments are piling up faster than you can say Indiana Jones.
faculty tests start next week.
and it's more important for me than the rest to score better because my percentages taken into consideration will be higher.
i'm lost in every chapter tested for chemisty and math and econs.
geography chapters are so boring i don't even bother to know what we're learning.
how the hell am i gonna pass my faculty tests?!

projects are just killing me.
if i wanted to do projects, i would have gone to a poly.

oh...and another failure i experienced by trying to be different.
i experienced a 1st today.
the 1st time i failed a gp essay.
why? because i tried to be different again.
i was stupid enough to choose the most philosophical question.
and i failed. by 1/2 a mark.
but on a lighter note at least it's the 1st time i failed.
for the same essay assignment, many people got their 1st pass.


oh and i've come to a conclusion about tan chee boon.
i like him OUTSIDE LESSON TIME.
i'm serious. i absolutely cannot stand the way he teaches.
he behaves like a part of him dies everytime he's nice during lessons.
but he's nice when he's not trying to be a teacher.
when he's not all sarcastic, not being anal about eating and drinking in class, us being just a wee bit late.
people with spilt personalities are so hard to understand.

oh and it's funny how people think i'm angry and all when i raise my opinions.
even when i'm like perfectly fine.
it's like they can't handle opposing views and all.
i think it's a girl school thing.

and remember how i uesd to argue over EVERYTHING in secondary school?
like just for the sake of it?
i don't do that anymore.
yes. HUGE SURPRISE. but really - i don't.
but i think god just has to send someone who is like who i used to be, but just 47849037454 times worse, to piss the shit out of me.
and that monkey is nicholas.
thought i was bad?
think again.





i'm depressed. really depressed.

came across this colorgenics test so i decided to do it :)
did the same one quite some time ago and this time i did it, the results are different!

You are very ambitious and because you seek and need recognition, you try in your own way to impress people and you want to be looked up to - to be both popular and admired. You feel that there is a gap which separates you from your fellow man, or woman as the case may be, but this anxiety is an unnecessary one. Keep on the way you are going and you may surprise yourself.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

You are being very dogmatic, insisting that there is to be absolutely no equivocation whatsoever about your achievements and accomplishments.


it's cool how they do this just based on you choosing colours appealing to you.
go try!
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

oh and i took the DISC profiling test about like a week ago.
the people going for ITC had to take it so the kaypo in me used sandra's copy to do the test too :)
it's i'm a cross between a C, D, and I.
an unlikely combination, not to mention weird. -Cs and Is don't usually go together.-
what can i say? i'm special :)
hahahaha...and from the ploted graph it shows that i'm really stressed.
lol...berlyn thinks i'm falling into depression.

i like pigs. dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs? they treat us as equals.

zoo today :)
woke up at like 6 despite being sick and all...had to take my test!
and I PASSED!
mademoiselle is officially a conservation ambassador :))
i can't wait for duty on the 8th of september!
i want my zoo name tag :)
woots!

oh...and apparently i'm a staff at the zoo.
at kfc and ben&jerry's today the cashiers kept going "oh....staff" when we paid.
haha...staff prices are cool :)

learnt how to catch a butterfly properly today :)
suprisingly they don't struggle when you pick them up!
and i think butterflies are attracted to me.
they keep landing all over me...my hair, my body, my legs, even MY FACE.
rahhhh....
oh and it's cool to watch butterflies lay their eggs.
it's like watching them poop blobs of pus out of their asses.
hahahahaha....


i just received a letter from teresa!!! :))
people of g8, she has letters for you guys too, and she said we have to all get together before giving them out k?
don't worry...i only read the one addressed to me and g8 :)
i miss that girl to bits! i cried reading her letter...
i love teresa poi yiwen :)

interview schedule for ocip is out.
mine's on thursday. pray for me!

now, i have to learn to sell myself.
i'm not used to selling myself!
i hate jc. you have to sell yourself for EVERYTHING.
i'm starting to feel like a hooker.

i'm gonna slack the rest of the day away before i dive into my mount everest worth of work and risk dying.

toodles :)

i soooo can't believe i'm sitting here in my room right now when the whole world is at dancefest.
it's incredibly unfair that i have to get sick at this time.
if not for zoo tomorrow i'd go to dancefest tonight even if it killed me.
rahhhhhhhhhhhh.

my ticket is now lying on the table as if mocking me.
"heh heh...you're sick!"

first i thought it was totally unjust that tan chee boon was thinking of letting people without tickets in to the audi cause the tickets are now sold out.
we paid $5 for our tickets and they get to go in for free?!
and if they go in early they can just reserve seats and paying people like us won't even get to sit, much less get good views!

and now, it's even worse cause i bought my damn ticket for $5 and i'm can't even go.
fuck.
it's soooo annoying.

it's not my fault that i'm sick.
i didn't go looking for illness.
it just comes knocking on my door.



=(

what i know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.

i'm so busy i think there are times i forgot to breathe.

so anyways...school has been madness.
but i still think i'm happy :)
though it's hard to be happy when everything around you starts to blow up in flames.

anyways...you know how some people are sooo desperate to suck up to teachers?
yep...i have a friends like that. and thank god we only share lectures and chinese.
i've never met another like him.
he is what you'd call a pure-blood sucker.
sending rubbish messages to teachers then showing the messages off after that just because the teachers reply.
please - it's basic courtesy.
oh god please help me...my tolerance level is running so low the alert sign is flashing.

and HA. i did better than him in the gp common test :))
sucker got 32. i got 33. :) woots!
now i can rub it in his face.
"hey...you know how you told me you got 32/50 for gp when i said the highest in my class was 28 and the 1/2? well that's not the highest. i got 33. *give the helpless look* but too bad they're not taking my results cause i'm officially on mc."
hahahaha.
SUCKER!

chinese a-level orals last friday.
i hope i did well enough to get a merit.
and for the 1st time, we guessed the oral topic correctly :) thanks to bifei - she's good at lip reading!
hahahahahaha...too bad la...who asked them to put us facing the examiners?

after i got over the possibility of just a pass, met joann and sandra for dinner at the airport. val and nat joined later :)

and on saturday, ber, mel, rachel and i went to adriene's house to do the human geog project.
rachel is just like a dead member la...99% of the time i dont even notice her.ad for the other 1% of the time whe she gets my attention is because she's in the way of something.
spent like freaking 10 hours doing the damn project. but i think we did great - after screwing up the 1st attempt :)

snake and ladder theme! my idea :)) hahahaha i think i'm great.

oh and you know how some people JUST DON'T GET IT?!
like rach didn't even do anything for the project, and we didn't want her presenting either so we wont screw up.
ber: there's only enough for 4 to present. 1 person don't present la..
adriene: so.....rachel. what you wanna do?
rachel: er...theory!
the rest of us just exchanged THAT LOOK what she said that.
what the fuck la...i bet she doesn't even know anything about the theory.
oh ya...she doesn't. she asked us to tell her what to say. fuck la...if you want to present then you'd better know what to say.
stupid sleeping members jeopardizing my grades.
pw, gp and now geog.
i want to choose my own groups!

(on bringing materials like glue and scissors just in case)
rachel: i bring! i never do anything! (she knows..)

fuck...that's all she planned to contribute?!

and there cannot be another stressful crisis this week. my schedule is already full.
i suddenly regret doing the emceeing for ethnicity.
it's of no use and i don't get anything out of it. not like i'm gonna use it for SGC or something.
oh wells...it's fun i guess. but it's taking up my whole week!

anyways nicholas is so enthu about it. i mean come on....it's just emceeing.
gis and i don't see the big deal.
but then again, it's a good opportunity for him to suck up.

zoo on saturday! i can't wait :)
i hope i pass my test though...

i need sleep. life has a tendancy to fall apart when i'm awake.

i've never felt so tired in the longest time.
i could hardly keep my eyes open the whole time i was in school.

spent the whole night doing physical geog project.
hate it la...waste of my time.
and it took me another whole hour to send it via email to adriene through tpjc.net cause the portal was just plain wonky.
went to bed at 1, woke up at 5 to print the thing cause adriene's printer so decided to break down and ruin my sleep.

i look like shit and feel like shit, and my periods aren't helping.
i've got 2 HUGE pimples on my face. and they wont go away!!!! :(
and i'm going for orals with 2 pimples on my face.
it had better be gone by next week! i'm emcee-ing!

i absolutely ABHORE my new chinese teacher TCB.
what an idiot. i've never met someone more petty then him.
he still bears a grudge against me for saying that i'm disappointed to see him again.
what the fuck la...and he's fucking putting words into my mouth when he talks to lao shi.
fuck la...and he's forcing us to hand up every single fucking piece of work.
i've got like most work from chinese now.
and he's so sarcastic.
i mean even when you're like really nice and earnest he's just so damn sarcastic!
can't he practice some basic courtesy and BE NICE?!
to think i used to think he was nice.
ugh.............he disgust me.
oh well...i've got gisella as hating company :)

if i hear haosheng bitch about TCB now, i won't even think about contesting him and defending TCB.

oh...and lao shi told us previously that they were going to write the emcee script for us, but now we have to write it ourselves.
on top of the tremendous amount of work that we already have.
and that annoying TCB is the teacher in charge of the emcees. so not looking forward to it.

i'm sooooo tired.
i've got work piled up to me head and all i want to do is jump into bed.

i can't wait for the week to be over.
practiced reading for orals during gp's free period today.
we all agreed that the best i can get is a pass.
i want my merit again :(

did the gp retest yesterday.
i think my brain cells are facing a crisis.
they're at risk of extinction.



maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep. well, nobody likes their job and nobody got enough sleep.
maybe you just had the worse day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse.
you've just got to suck up and be nice.

monkeys at the zoo sohuld wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.

spent the whole day at the zoo yesterday :)
had to wake up at 5.45 on a SATURDAY morning so that i'll be there by 8.45.
and dear adriene couldn't wake up. lol...
oh...and at 8.15, there are already these crazy ang moh waiting outside the zoo entrance.
and we -meaning all the CAs- wore green to support earth day!

1st day of conservation ambassador training.
i have a feeling i'm gonna like it! it's really fun...

and we get to go behind the scenes and all...to the pet hospital, post-mortem room and all.
yesterday the star cobra of night safari, ethan, died. saw his corps. ewwww....
oh oh! and they performed post-mortem on this turtle, and found rubber bands and fishing hooks in its stomach.

anyways...they keep this cotton-top tamarin her own cage at the hospital.
she can't be kept with the rest of the tamarins for the weirdest reason in the world.
she thinks she's human.
yup. i'm not kidding. she does.
she was hand-raised by a human so being surrounded by humans all her life she thinks she's one of us now.
hahahahahahaha...but she's really cute. has a cute name too! inka!
i forgot to take a picture though :(

i'll never took at mee pok the same way again.
they look like tape worms found in animals.
goodbye to the nice mee pok lady who always speaks to me in english...

and did you know, AH MENG'S FEMALE!
omg...i never knew.
but seriously la...why the fuck would you name a female ah meng?!
it was damn embarrassing when i didn't know that ah meng's a she yesterday.
hahahahaha...

and i realise how i'm refering to animals as he or she instead of the ordinary it.
hahaha amazing how the animals brainwashes us :)

oh and F.Y.I, animals escape in the zoo on a regular basis. bet you didn't know that :)

(on animals escaping)
chi yong: recently a chimpanzi so decided to escape from his enclosure. he jump jump here, jump jump there, aiya...he was just jumping all over the zoo. the keepers were just running after it.
then he jump jump jump and decided to jump into the cheeta's enclosure. the cheeta got scared, so it jumped out and ran all over the zoo. poor keepers....first they have to chase a stupid chimpanzi who got bored of his own enclosure then a cheeta scared by a chimp.


and there are armies of mosquitoes in the freaking zoo.
they come in frightening numbers i tell you...
and they are vicious.

and and! i get discount for everything at the zoo!
ben and jerry's!
wahahahahahaha....
ok..i'm sounding to sound like a cheapo but still..i only pay $2.50 when people pay $4.90 :)

now i can have double scoops in waffle cone and still have it cheaper than whan people pay for a single scoop in a normal cone :)

i hope i pass my test on the 21st!
i never knew i had to actually study to be a freaking conservation ambassador.

i'm downing in school work so i don't think i'll be updating much anytime soon.
or if i do it means i'm skiving.

just back from dinner and a wee bit shopping with val :)

dinner at fish&co was so entertaining....stupid couple fighting over what to order beside us and there we were eavesdropping and shaking from laughter :)
lady: (in a voice belonging to a petulant child) i want new york fish and chips! I MUST HAVE IT! I NEVER TRY BEFORE!
hahahaha...stupid ah lian.

i love eavesdropping :)


i'm too dead tired to update much. will do so tomorrow if the monkeys at the zoo don't decide to keep me for company.
i've got to wake up at 5.45 and be at the zoo by 8.45 :(
stupid journey takes 2 hours!
ah well....for the sake of my already deprived cca.

i don't want!!!!!!!!!!

things are NOT going well in school.
:(

firstly, all the retests.
stupid. i've got to take 2 gp retests. one that i missed during the june hols and one for mid-years.
there's chinese retest and geog too - and i have NOT studied.

secondly, lao shi gave our class up to another teacher. happens to be my 1st 3 months teacher.
that got us all depressed. I WANT LAO SHI BACK! :(
she gave our class up. our class of all classes.
gis and i came to a conclusion that we're so bad she can't take it any longer.
chinese lessons are not going to be fun any more. :(
and he only knows me so everything is jie ling, jie ling, jie ling....

(before the "hand-over")
lao shi: you know what this not-so-handsome guy is doing here?
me: he got nothing better to do.
chen lao shi: WHAT?!
lao shi: ya. he got nothing to do that's why -
(i noticed she didn't bring anything to class while he did)
me: WE ARE GOING TO CHANGE TEACHERS?! YOU DON'T WANT US ANYMORE?!


(after lessons, along the corridoor.)
chen lao shi: so jie ling....are you disappointed to see me again?
me: YES!
chen lao shi: what?! that's such a hurtful thing to say!
gis: i'm disappointed too what.
chen lao shi: but i don't know you! i haven't taught you before!
me: wo gen ni hen shou ma? (do i know you very well?)

not my fault he asked right?
hahahahahhahaha i'm such a meanie.
i think he hates me now. hahaha....
oh...and he's making me do a retest even though lao shi said there's no need for it. :(
ugh!

thirdly, i have no fucking cca.
i need a cca desperately.
i NEED one.
otherwise i've got nothing ot write in the cca box on the ocip form!
I WANT TO GO FOR OCIP!
and i will survive there ok?

me: eh! i want to go!
jie wie: YOU?! cannot survive one la...

sadness...nothing is going well.
i'm up to my neck with school work and i'm STILL procrastinating.
i have a feeling i'll be enjoying tp's scenery for another year.

fucking 2.4 for pe tomorrow.
i don't want to run and be yucky for the whole day then go for retests after school.
the thought of 2.4 just puts me off.

oh oh! and we watched a really nice hong kong movie during chinese lecture today :)
i cried! hahaha...and gis was just going on about how i was a sucker.
and she's really random too.

(half-way through the movie)
gis: you know, i think you look like a lesbian.
me: WHAT?!

seriously. me? a lesbian? what the fuck?!
and she said it really loudly. thanks ya?

and nicholas was just going on and on and on about sex.
felt like slapping him.

(after the movie)
berlyn: so jerine! did you understand the movie?
me: hey...what was that supposed to mean? i cried!
berlyn, emily, bifei, jayne: OH MY GOD YOU UNDERSTOOD THE MOVIE?!


and they said it soooo loudly at the front of the audi.
all the teachers were looking at me. i swear i nearly died of embarrassment.


and chinese orals for As are next week!
i'm good ok?



i am not going to screw up orals.
i can speak in chinese.
i'm good at chinese.







who am i kidding?

procrastination is like masturbation. in the end, you're just screwing yourself.

today happens to be the last day of my 5 weeks holiday.
and i have achieved absolutely nothing. nothing productive.

oh wells...
screw pw and fuck retests.
as charmaine said last night, we can be top contenders for another year in jc.
ha i miss that girl. miss her heck care attitude toward everything but still manages to score in everything.
it's amazing how that brain of hers works.

just a little catch up with her last night after she randomly sent me an sms on how she was suffering from withdrawal symptoms and misses sac.
i wish i was back in sac too.
i don't mind another year of sec 4. i think it's less stressful than j1.

to hell with retests.
i have already lined my grave with toilet paper so it'd be more comfy.

i was blog hopping and was somehow reminded of gis's ego.

-during extra chinese lessons with gis and lao shi
(on teaching in tp being her 1st job to date.)
lao shi: i like it here. i have nice colleagues and adorable students.
gis: *beams*
me: erm........i think she's referring to the pictures of her ex-students.
lao shi: (roars with laughter) YES YES YES!

(randomly during our morning sessions)
gis: you know....i think all the teachers really like me. (grins)

how can so much ego be in that puny body of hers?
egos never cease to leave be bewildered :)

kinda reminds me of mr lian.
hahahaha. him and his stupid ego that i took such pride in deflating :))



my pillow is about to blow up in flames from the heat radiating from my laptop all morning/afternoon.