i need a place to rant.

and i believe this is it. juz read an article bout discrimination.
i've been thinking a lot so i need to get it out of my system so that i can actually concentrate on studying. this is going to be one LONG post. its divided in 2. blogger wont publish it all at once. i have a feeling you wont come here again after reading this.

a lot of crazy things are going on these days, some of which strike us as more obviously crazy than others. i dont know why, but it just seems that way.

more often than not when we think about prejudice the word discrimination comes shortly after. in today's society these social deviants are swept under the rug, pushed to the back of our minds.

out of sight out of mind. bullshit.

they are present in our every day thoughts and actions. its been considered to be deviant and we are taught formally that racism is wrong. yet we learn the negative thoughts, emotions, and attitudes that comprise silent racism informally through the modeling of parents, teachers, peers, and the media.

it used to be said that an undiscriminating person is a person without taste or judgment. a person who does not distinguish between the good and the bad, between low quality and high quality, between what is acceptable and what is not. but nowadays, in this Alice in Wonderland world we're living in, "discrimination" has become the ultimate sin, and every Politically Correct person must declare himself free not only of any actual practice of discrimination but also of any tendency or desire to discriminate.

Politically Correct people do not discriminate between black and white, male and female, homosexual and heterosexual, crippled and healthy. Politically Correct people are permitted to be discriminating about some things. They discriminate between "good" people and "bad" people. "Good" people are Politically Correct people. "Bad" people are people who are still discriminating about things which it is no longer Politically Correct to be discriminating about. right. no typo errors there..read it again. it makes perfect sense.

most people desperately want to be like other people. they want other people to think well of them, to approve of them. they want to behave in a way they believe is expected of them. this need to conform is so strong in most people that it can override reason.

people just have to stop this. its shit basically. i want to be you and you want to be me. will we ever be good enough? it will never end. it just keeps growing. when i get what i want i'll just want something else after that. comparison had just got to stop. we are what we are. that is a fact that will never change. one can go change his or her looks and end up looking entirely different. but deep down inside nothing changes.

so what if you are better looking or that you are so damn smart? that doesn't mean that you are way up there all high and mighty.

1st 2 papers down.

right..so as of above, i have juz survived the 1st day of my exams. 1st two papers=) it was kinda ok..wrote my chinese letter 4 half n hr n i checked e dict 4 1/2 an hr. wrote my chinese essay 4 1/2 an hr n checked e dict n 1/2 an hr. dumb..technically i spent an hr checking e dict n an hr writing..dats WAY dumb..but i cant find some of the words in e dict anyways..spelling 4 throw is diu right? nope..nothing like that in e dict. stupid.

so a 3 day weekend then papers again. my parents will b on holiday so i doubt i'll even b studying..n my mum's gone insane..she wanted me to go on holiday too. she believes that i can study in e hotel. fool. she tempts me with sth whenever i wanna study. n when i dont get e results she wanna c she yells at me n say that i dun study. im lyk what the fuck?! you r never at home so dont say u dont see me studying...so wad do i have to do now? put myself on video conference everytime i study? n when i dont do well its not cuz i dont study..not my fault that the paper is hard eh? think everything is easy..chinese is easier now cuz u get to use the dictionary. so? BIG DEAL..not like i can find the words in there anyways. she wants me to read more chinese books to improve my chinese. fuck la..not like i will know how to read e words in the books. ugh! so annoyed right now.

parents.
they wanna know everything.
they wanna control everything.
they think they know you.
they think they know what's best 4 u.
but u know wad?
things dont happen your way all the time.
you are not going to know everything n control my life.
i love you but there has got to be a limit as to what you do to me.
i know u think that whatever you do is 4 my own good.
but that is not always the case.
sometimes you can be wrong too.
you think i do not appreciate what you do 4 me.
you're WRONG.
you think that i don't love you.
you're WRONG.
you have to get your facts straight.
loving you doesn't mean that i have to spell it out.
neither do i have to write it on my forehead.
it is shown through little actions and gestures.
but i guess you don't notice.
maybe you don't even notice me.









im lost.