amongst life's ruins, the river of tears has dried up all too soon.

one, two, three, four, five. once i fed some fishes alive.

six, seven, eight, nine, ten, i'll never ever do it again.
why won't you do it again?
BECAUSE THE STUPID FISH BIT MY FINGER LA!
the fourth finger on my right.
my finger went INTO the fish's mouth.
i've got this long line on my finger to remind me to never feed fishes again.

FISHES ARE FOOD. NOT FRIENDS.

oh wells. so i went to tioman over the long weekends, got myself sunburnt because i stupidly forgot to slap some sunblock on my shoulders.
relaxing few days, especially after common tests which were a bitch.
gonna fail real bad, but then again, maybe then i'll get another $200 from the government this year for supposed good progress.

and no, no pictures from the trip because my camera was sitting safely in the safe box the entire 3 days so that i won't lose it or wet it or whatever.
kind of defeats the purpose of a camera if you asked me.
but my mum made me do it because i was leaving my stuff all over the place.

the sea was great, the hot ang mohs were better :)
and i've got tan FEET.
i might look healthier with a tan though, considering the fact that people have been telling me i look sick or haven't slept in a week.
it's fade soon so blah...

i kinda hate school now. don't know why.
never hated school before.
laziness's getting the better of me.

resignation.

there are 2 paths to take. one to hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction.
and they seem to cross.

i'm fucked.
A levels are no joke.
but i'm still stupidly wasting precious time on everything but studies.
jerine jerine jerine. WAKE UP YOUR IDEAS.
you're gonna have to start sourcing for a university offering a major in housekeeping if you don't start studying.

ughhhhhhh.
i'm throughly annoyed with myself.
disgusted.

i don't want to be one of those breaking down after collecting my results like how the seniors did.
that'd be a point of no return.
it's do or die. one chance.


i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will. i know i can will. i know i can i will. i know i can i will.

it's through imperfection that you find perfection.

loads been happening. loads.

let me just sum in up in mini sentences.

--> common tests have started.

--> finally an instructor for drama.

--> auditions - screwed up (what's new)

--> last drama session was drama - i think i make a good counsellor.
--> got a role in inspired media's machinima project. small role, disappointed but i feel better knowing tthe rest of the cast are veterans and professional thespians - think macbeth, twelfth nights.

--> chinese results are out. got a C. was estatic, though i've come to recognise that it's not that good, but by and large, it probably is for my standard.

--> broke from online shopping, but that's not surprising.

--> applied for ibanking and THEY SENT MY SECURE DEVICE TO MY OLD HOUSE, OF WHICH I SHIFTED FROM 8 YEARS AGO.

--> went for econs seminar at NTU (nanyang island as adriene so affectionately calls it, though i've come to know why)

--> went for econs seminar, paid attention to the 1st two speaker for like 2 hours, slept for an hour and the half after break, THEN LEFT DURING LUNCH. yup. we just left. gonna get screwed but who really cares. it was like a whole day thing and we gathered at like 7AM and the will be dismissed at like probably 7PM?!
ALPHA or not, remind me never to go for another seminar again. i'm not a masochist - paying for torture.

that's just what happened today and yesterday.
i feel like a goldfish.

certifiably insane.

i've got a sneaky feeling i'm going out of my mind.
i'm selling my vivitar.
my vivitar.

MY VIVITAR!

i can't believe i just did that.
i sold my vivitar.
great. just great.

I NEED A HOLGA FOR CONSOLATION.