everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end.

tha quote was just something i took off photoshare on tpjc.net.
i hope it holds true.

i don't think i can feel any worse than i'm feeling right now.
except if i get retained of course.

i thought promos were going well.
it WAS.
physical geog and econs were managable, and i might have done well too.
i thought at the rate things were going, i was going to get promoted.

then came chemistry.
i've never left 60% of an exam paper blank before.
ok..maybe for A Math in secondary school, but other than that, never.
until today.
and out of the 40% i answered, 20% was mcq -shading random boxes aren't that difficult-, the other 20% was answered so that i have something written on the paper.

and it's the first time in the longest time i broke down during the paper.
it's also the 1st time that i've experienced nervous breakdowns multiple times before the exam.

to think i was so happy after the econs paper today because all my predictions on the questions came true.

and to gisella, though you'll probably not see this, i'm really really sorry.
i'm sorry i wasn't there when you needed me.
i'm sorry for the late reply.
i'm sorry for not being a source of comfort.
i'm sorry :(

and the reply i received from her after chem to comfort me only made me feel worse. :(

i hope the predictions and little help i gave her for econs is sufficient for her to secure a pass.



i hope i get promoted.
2 more papers.
math - impossible to pass
human geog - i HAVE to do well

i've lost the motivation to continue studying after the chem today.

please just let me get promoted :(

my wrist feels like it's on the verge of snapping.
3 hours of non-stop writing from physical geog and 2h 45min for econs.
11 pieces of papers for geog = 22 sides
10 pieces for econs = 20 sides
i've got a bubble blister from self-mulitation in the form of writing.
holding a pen hurts like madness now.


and i hate annoying invigilators.
they should be sent to the borders of the milky way and confined to their own universe.

stupid invigilator for geog yesterday.
another stupid and spastic one today.

the one yesterday didn't have exam ethics at all.
20 minutes into the geog paper he came up to me and told me i was in the wrong seat.
i wasn't. but i had no time to argue with him.
idiot didn't get the clue and continued yakking away.
40 minutes later, he came back to me.
telling me i was in the right seat.
and he starting counting for me to prove that i was in the right seat.
what the hell...if i'm sitting here then i'd know it's right right?!
talk talk talk talk talk.
there i am trying to figure out how a slope fails and there he was counting seats for me.
IDIOT.
i nearly went SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
but instead i gave a pretty loud HUH?! and shot him a really disgusted and irritated look.

today's invigilator for chem was damn spastic.
he came up to my table trying to figure out why i had so many blanks 10 minutes before the paper ended.
before that he was just inspecting my ic like he found gold.
and he was BOUNCING through out the 1h 30min.
like on the spot and around the class.
then he picked up jayne's crushed paper and tried shooting it into the bin FROM THE BACK OF THE CLASS.
obviously he missed, and instead of picking up the rubbish and throwing it into the bin right in from of him, he walked to the back of the class and tried shooting again.
it's like watching humpty dumpty doing all these.
and he's probably in his late 40s.
GROW UP PLEASE...

to think twits can make it as teachers.
no surprises why students aren't doing well.




been studying non-stop for the pass week taking breaks only for chamber visits and meals.
but the battle's not over. YET.