nothing is so bitter that a clam mind cannot take comfort in.

i'm happy :)
sometimes i think i'm really easily satisfied.
it takes so little to make me happy.
and more often than not it's the little things that people do, that they think is no biggy that brightens up your day.
some small little surprises really go a long way.
things that happen when you least expect it to.
my day brightened a whole lot thanks to the people i'm surrounded by.

sometimes it's your perception that makes the whole world seem gloomy.
mere perception.
and all it takes is that little something to be reminded that things aren't as bad as they seem.
and sometime we forget what we have.
we think of it as what we used to have. we think that it's gone forever.
but little things happen unexpectedly and puts a smile on your face without fail.
i guess we can never truely understand the magnitude of little gestures.


and i want to share this joy.
especially with this certain depressed someone.
but i can't seem to get past her mask, that facade.
we appear to be close and happy and all, but it's just a masquerade isn't it?
it's so superficial and shallow.


i want to be more that just someone she has small talk with.
i want to be more than just company.
i want to really be a friend.
a friend.
a friend who's not only there to have happy and light conversations with.
that's difficult isn't it?
i want to. but i don't know how.

how do you reach beneath someone's mask?
a mask that conceals every emotion, every crack and every wound.
a mask that gradually builds a surrounding wall.
a wall which makes you a prisoner of your own mind?

if i don't know what's hurting you, how can i help?

sometimes we build walls not to keep others out. but to see who bothers to break it down.
i only i knew how.




on a lighter note, i'm liking softball :)
i can't bat for nuts but i like catching at the bases.
it's uber fun.

but the sun can kill. this is what you get when the sun doesn't play fair.
you get fielders sitting at bases with TWO gloves.
one for catching, the other for shielding.
hahaha and mel took a picture of her two fielders, jayne in green, and yours truely :)

call us bimbos. lol :)

oh oh! and i felt the tremors yesterday and the day before yesterday!
and on BOTH occasions i didn't realise they were tremors until someone else told me.

the first time the day before yesterday was funny.
i was just happily sufing the net when i started swaying quite a bit, even sitting down.
i thought i was dizzy but i was feeling completely fine.
then i freaked out and scared myself a little.
i thought it was some supernatural force or something.
but right? i was rather stupid so despite being scared i kept it all to myself.
oh and i only realised that all i experienced were tremors like 4 hours later when my daddy told me about it.

hahaha. then i felt it again in school during math! and i thught it i was just too tired during math.
until my geograhy teacher told me about it along the corridors. hahaha.
i think i'm getting the jayne syndrome.